Masc women and gay guy dating

He swapped out his long-haired, expressive default face pic for one "with less expression and my hair pulled out of sight under a baseball cap.


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In 10 days, he received six times as many messages as he had with his old pic in 14 days, resulting in a number of potential dates. That is, until guys got a view of his feminine side. To be fair, not every man who presents as traditionally masculine on gay dating apps is a mascfish. Some may be presenting themselves honestly or as honestly as they can in a few pictures and sentences.


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This would be just fine if all men were born with naturally deep, commanding voices and affinities for growing beards and fixing cars. But obviously NotAllMen are born that way, so placing so much value on traditionally masculine qualities can leave many feeling pressured to " perform " these qualities in order to be more attractive to potential partners. Therefore, I think men tend to get caught up in putting out weird vibes, especially in gay culture where men often feel obligated to balance out their attraction to other men with behaviors and activities that are often associated with heterosexual males.

The pressure to be butch sucks enough for straight guys, who are often doomed to keep their unwavering love of Sex and the City a dark, shameful secret. But for gay guys, it can be an express train to self-loathing.

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It's not about feminine versus masculine. But my boyfriend and I did meet on OkCupid — and it was indeed the macho undertones of my profile that led him to reach out in the first place. Had I displayed my penchant for abbrevs or my spiritual connection with Mariah in my initial OkCupid profile, I can't help but wonder if he would have thought to message me in the first place. Yet much like an actual episode of Catfish in which the couple decides to stay together after all, sometimes you have to fall in love with the fantasy of someone before they win you over with who they really are.

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By Nicolas DiDomizio. Email Follow. Related stories by this author. Recommended video. Here's why. And there are plenty of gay-identifying men and guys who want to unabashedly date dudes who are into more fem dudes. And I need you to be an obvious guy. What exactly is fem and what is masc remains a constant debate.

And what is too fem? These things seems to change from individual to individual and be more about personal preference and perception. I think everyone, regardless of their gender, sexuality, age, etc will have some behaviours, actions that are interpreted as Masculine or Feminine. Some will have a lot more one way or the other, but there is generally at least a bit of both.

This is also culture, region, even individual specific as what is seen as masculine by some is seen as feminine by others. I change the oil on the cars, mow the lawns, but also do the laundry and am more open with my emotions. He does lots of handy man stuff around the home but also loves cooking and is artistic. At the end of the day, being authentic to who you are, whether that means being an extremely effeminate, make up wearing, vogueing queen, a big strong power lifting dude bro or anywhere in between is the most important thing. No one can really dictate who that type of person is for an individual or how someone should generally behave.

Just let people like what they like and stop bitching already.

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I think one of the issues is that it appears that many though of course not all of these masc4masc guys resent effeminate men. Good lord.

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This is not a thing. There are plenty who will want you as you are.


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The underlying message is that sexual intercourse with complete strangers is a normal activity and effeminacy is a natural state of being for gay men. Both are false. Point taken, but then why do you keep coming on here if you dislike Queerty so much?

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If you dislike what you see Queerty representing, why keep showing up to post? Why come here? Because this site is, sadly, visited by LGB people and has an influence in establishing what is normal and acceptable. It spreads misinformation and toxic values to LGB people, and in particular LGB youth, some of whom are influenced by it and thus harmed.

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If you actually want to generate discussion you really need a different approach. Among other things, this gives us a chance to interrogate our own biases: Are we really not attracted to something or someone, or do we have other things going on? So let me get this clear… Effeminate gay men are pissed because the masculine men they are attracted to are attracted to other masculine men, and the effeminate men are hurt that they attempt to act masculine to attract masculine men and still get rejected…. Seems normal. I have no remorse for effeminate men.